Easter

I swear it's here for a mixture of making me feel it necessary to spend a grand total of 13 pounds on Easter eggs (shit, really? REALLY RACHEL) and again for making me feel extraordinarily uncomfortable with my blasphemous personality, neurotype and just general attitude.

Of which I am not proud. I'm agnostic, I'm sat on the fence between a good hard NO and being vaguely religious. I'm basically waiting for proof, and until that happens I will just let people be religious around me. You can be a fundamentalist, you can pray every time you're a bit mean to the cat, I don't mind, just don't try and wave it in my face.

In fact, I used to go to Christian union, all it did was end up with me smashing my knee up. I also felt very squirmy and false, but the bible, religion and other such things I do like to read, and find interesting. I mean, I don't follow the bible, but sometimes you should read it to remind your self that your a selfish little pumpkin and my dear, start going back and finding your morals and not proclaiming with whom you would do what with for a tenner, because you wouldn't, you really wouldn't.

I think this all round just comes down to the fact that the world is more easy when you have an open mind. I am not racist, or sexist, or ageist, fattist, humanist, or anything, you know, any of those icky 'ist' words that they made us have assemblies on whilst everyone got pins and needles.

Assemblies, there we go subjecting the masses to religious songs, yes, I didn't like them, I took to sitting in silence and refusing to sing, and I used to pretend to pray but I wouldn't. It didn't feel right, as in, not me being stuck up about my lack of religious activity, it was more: I don't believe this particularly, so I'm not going to do it.

Back to the 'ist', though, I'm pretty open minded. I want to talk to people who make me laugh, and if you can't make me laugh, well then, it's because I don't like you, not because I'm an ...ist of whatever you are. I can even talk to and have a good laugh with people who vote conservative, just not people who a) have no idea why/just copy their parents and b) are working class Tory voters, I mean what is that.

Sorry, I'm getting off task. Yes, I don't know how to change our calendar or if we should, but being non-religious our family still celebrates these things, I just feel pretty bad for not being religious when these days come around. I am proud of my ideology when it comes to it, just not when everywhere I look there's a reference to Jesus, I can't deal with myself. It makes me feel pure blooded EVIL.

Another thing does that as well. I am completely open to drug use, as in, I don't particularly mind who smokes, who smokes what, snorts what, takes what. It won't affect my judgement on them, people often complain about these types of things, and really, I'm not saying I'm above anyone, is something missing in me that means I should have an opinion, I care, if it makes their life dramatically worse, and they end up on the streets due to a drug habit. But occasionally, for fun? Smoking? No, not a problem, for me. Same with anything people want to do to themselves, as long as they aren't hurting others. I will not have an opinion, I simply can't, but it annoys me when people do


Because then it changes it to them and us, as in. We don't smoke, we're amazing, they do smoke, they're gross. Superiority/Inferiority is in every area of life, as humans do we really need to fight to have such superiority over other humans.

Some things I strongly believe in, but I don't have many opinions, and I don't categorise people according to them.

Be whoever you want to be, I'll still love you

Ray <3 xx