I'm trying to revise

I hate psychology and I hate Deirdre, I used to have a huge fascination with the subject, I still do, but the second part of the course has beat the enthusiasm out of me. My teacher isn't enthusiastic, she can't remember or explain things well, she is also offensive sometimes.

I barely care about the subject now, I'd be pleased with a C. Just today started my revision, with my exam tomorrow.

I'll stop on half an hour, get some food, have a shower and continue...

Oh life

Ray <3 xx

Bonjour

I have a FRENCH EXAM TOMORROW.

This being the third and final exam for francais, and hopefully less of my jizzing over grammar for my friends. My God, I am so wierd. But I'm stressed, avec all these exams, right?

I've moved up in the world. Grabbed my life by the tentacles (decided 'reins' was too clichéd). I am now, officially, employed. I'm employed.

I listen to people speak about what pizza they would like, then I press buttons, then I send this info off to turn into actual real pizza. It does equate to more than that, but, my God, me? Employed? Stick a turkey up your jumper and hop to the Armenian national anthem because THIS SHIT'S GOIN' GLOBAL.

Okay, what.

So other than getting a job, which I was petrified of doing but now, after my 5th shift, am much more accustomed to it, I decided I would make an effort or something.

A good amount of my friends are leaving me to wallow in my third year to go to uni, so I bought a notebook. (Whilst I was waiting for Aaron in WHSmith with a voucher I won for coming second in a poetry competition at the start of the year). I have decided that people shall write in this, friends in and out of Itchen college, and I shall get some snaps with them, and stick them in.

I also bought another notebook, I've decided to keep a Diary. Instead of winging through the medium of various social networking sites. It's private, it doesn't need publishing. But I was watching the one show and they said that the diary was dying out. Me being a natural rebel, decided to start one.

Thing is, I seriously recommend it, a Diary won't take the piss, or comment, it will be there to just listen, even if all you do is complain about how glitchy Assassin's Creed 2 is on your laptop... DO IT. I challenge you.

I'm also a part of this thing now, video project, called DosedDaily, where 7 of us upload videos every day. I'm Tuesday. So far I did an introduction, one about friendship, one at college, one at Lewis's house, and one of my bed being... ahem... 'revision wolverine'...

Exams ruin lives, tbh haha.

Oh the relive will never equate that moment when I finished EPQ. Or I didn't accidentally tweet that embarrassing and personal text I meant to send to a close friend.

Live long and prosper...

Rayness <3 xx

Easter

I swear it's here for a mixture of making me feel it necessary to spend a grand total of 13 pounds on Easter eggs (shit, really? REALLY RACHEL) and again for making me feel extraordinarily uncomfortable with my blasphemous personality, neurotype and just general attitude.

Of which I am not proud. I'm agnostic, I'm sat on the fence between a good hard NO and being vaguely religious. I'm basically waiting for proof, and until that happens I will just let people be religious around me. You can be a fundamentalist, you can pray every time you're a bit mean to the cat, I don't mind, just don't try and wave it in my face.

In fact, I used to go to Christian union, all it did was end up with me smashing my knee up. I also felt very squirmy and false, but the bible, religion and other such things I do like to read, and find interesting. I mean, I don't follow the bible, but sometimes you should read it to remind your self that your a selfish little pumpkin and my dear, start going back and finding your morals and not proclaiming with whom you would do what with for a tenner, because you wouldn't, you really wouldn't.

I think this all round just comes down to the fact that the world is more easy when you have an open mind. I am not racist, or sexist, or ageist, fattist, humanist, or anything, you know, any of those icky 'ist' words that they made us have assemblies on whilst everyone got pins and needles.

Assemblies, there we go subjecting the masses to religious songs, yes, I didn't like them, I took to sitting in silence and refusing to sing, and I used to pretend to pray but I wouldn't. It didn't feel right, as in, not me being stuck up about my lack of religious activity, it was more: I don't believe this particularly, so I'm not going to do it.

Back to the 'ist', though, I'm pretty open minded. I want to talk to people who make me laugh, and if you can't make me laugh, well then, it's because I don't like you, not because I'm an ...ist of whatever you are. I can even talk to and have a good laugh with people who vote conservative, just not people who a) have no idea why/just copy their parents and b) are working class Tory voters, I mean what is that.

Sorry, I'm getting off task. Yes, I don't know how to change our calendar or if we should, but being non-religious our family still celebrates these things, I just feel pretty bad for not being religious when these days come around. I am proud of my ideology when it comes to it, just not when everywhere I look there's a reference to Jesus, I can't deal with myself. It makes me feel pure blooded EVIL.

Another thing does that as well. I am completely open to drug use, as in, I don't particularly mind who smokes, who smokes what, snorts what, takes what. It won't affect my judgement on them, people often complain about these types of things, and really, I'm not saying I'm above anyone, is something missing in me that means I should have an opinion, I care, if it makes their life dramatically worse, and they end up on the streets due to a drug habit. But occasionally, for fun? Smoking? No, not a problem, for me. Same with anything people want to do to themselves, as long as they aren't hurting others. I will not have an opinion, I simply can't, but it annoys me when people do


Because then it changes it to them and us, as in. We don't smoke, we're amazing, they do smoke, they're gross. Superiority/Inferiority is in every area of life, as humans do we really need to fight to have such superiority over other humans.

Some things I strongly believe in, but I don't have many opinions, and I don't categorise people according to them.

Be whoever you want to be, I'll still love you

Ray <3 xx

ARGH

Stupid Rachel, stupid.

I tweeted, when I was annoyed, which is common. And I half-blamed my annoyance on people that follow(ed) me. Drat, yeah, drat. It was annoying at the time, now it is not, and now I regret it, because they found my friends blog, and left comments on it, when she wasn't talking about them.

At least I think she wasn't, I think she was talking about those idiots in psych but anyway. It just winds me up, I should just ban myself from tweeting any kind of annoyance XD

I want to apologise for any offence I caused anyone, I'm just an idiot.

Destination.

A board game. The unfinishable game. Worse than monopoly, and 3 times as frustrating. Lewis owns destination Southampton.

Destination means...
Each player has a taxi
They have destination cards
They have 5 fuel cards
Every destination reached means you hand in the destination card, and a fuel card, receive the fare, and a new destination card.
You have to have 1 fuel card on you to travel
You can buy more at the petrol station.
You roll a die to move squares.
You can upgrade to a super taxi and use two dice.
You have a drivers license


PROBLEMS WITH DESTINATION:
You usually get 1 square within your destination by chance, and can't roll a one for about 17 goes, whilst the other player rolls a 1 every time
A super taxi can NEVER roll a one
Every few squares there are traffic lights which you land on and they either give you a nice card, or a nasty card.
If you get 12 points on your license (from traffic light cards) you have to pay £200 for a new one.
The layout of Southampton on the board is wrong.
The petrol station is in the middle of nowhere.
You have to rush back to the taxi rank at the end of the game (no more destination cards), whoever does gets £200 to add to their total.

Mine and Lewis's game...
No money at the start to mix it up
We bought supplies from Asda in town (whilst mother's day shopping) which included pork scratchings and Caprio Soczyste which... which creates hyperness. That didn't kick in until after the first hour and a half, whilst we were listening to the Mozart trance remix and dancing to it whilst playing. The most fun ever, I must admit, trying to hand over money whilst dancing was insanely difficult.

Lewis and I have very different techniques. Lewis slots his card under the board so they line up with the destination, whereas I group the closest ones together for a technique, and remember when to fill up with petrol.

Destination sounds easy, but it isn't. The biggest problem is rolling a one to move one space to get to your destination. The best way, of course, to do this, is to THROW the die high above your head, and it usually lands on a one, somewhere in the room. Of course, Lewis got fed up to day, and threw it with all his might.

It pinged off the chandelier thing and straight into my pint of crazy Polish orange drink. Unfortunately, it had landed as a three. We literally sat in hysterics for about 45 minutes before kitchen towel was collected and I had to try and gulp the drink (later with a straw).

This was way after we'd stopped dancing to pitbull, btw.

The die was retrieved, and we continued. I had to get fuel and get another destination whilst Lewis was 5 away from the taxi rank. He won with £1,250 I think. I had £720 or something like that XD

Best AND worst game ever. Needs a lot of stamina tbh

iefhwi

Rachel's recent life events:
Rowan can and will constantly quote Tim Vine, and Sarah will laugh in a slightly manic/demonic way. Every time.
Romain has tapped into my one source of annoyance and that is songs being stuck in my head... hence: 'psycho chicken! Mais Qu'est-ce que c'est' being in my head forever and ever. With clucking noises.
Kony2012 - I won't blog about that yet
I think I am a bad influence on the wonderful Belinda.
Sarah finished carving a polystyrene cat.
Louise wore her hat today and we all took turns and it falls over my eyes D':

Okay I really don't know what else is happening in my life that I should blog about... gah.
It's results day tomorrow, let's pray I get a good grade from my Jan psych exam. AND 9 DAYS UNTIL DERREN BROWN. YEAHHHHH.

I actually have nothing to blog about, I just feel it necessary. Chris be watching football, and the commentators have odd accents. Unusual accents. IDEK.



Yeah just had to post that, made me laugh far too much.

Chris is playing red dead redemption now, very interesting, carrying a man on the back of his horse, feel sorry for his ribs/sternum tbh.

That's it, this blog was a huge pointless mess.

Ray <3 xx

I just had a shower

And as well as doing all the usual shower clichés (washing, singing, crying, pretending I'm at the Oscars, and dancing with the flannel whilst the shampoo gets jealous) I thought.

Thinking, as in, well, not the normal thinking I do, which I assume to be the same (but perhaps of higher quality) than most other citizens aboard the merry planet Earth, yet, this was a style of thinking, that allowed me to think, you know, go right down deep and discover a gritty core of intelligence and wonder (beneath the less gritty layer of intelligence, wonder and a taste for Marmite).

I have decided, that I am, worth it. You know, this whole life thing. For a while it's all been 'What's the point it's not like I am going to last long, and I could die tomorrow, and people will forget about me, and move on, and I'll eventually be old and dead and my kids will think my music is dumb and old and I am too obsessed with Sherlock and everyone will notice how lame I am because nobody goes near my gritty layer of intelligence and wonder and Marmite because nobody bloody likes Marmite


And so on....

So basically, I have been talking myself into a rainy outlook and deliberately chancing an umbrella and chancing NOT to, for a while. I have since discovered that I AM AN IDIOT.

Well, in that sense.

I took an average of my IQ scores (out of 5) and got 120... although I don't trust online tests, which puts me in the above-above average intelligence level. Hoorah?

Besides the point, I am an idiot in the sense that my amazing comedic genius has been skulking away behind the curtains of my teenage wallowing ability. Which you know, I'm sure will adapt soon into an adult wallowing ability, I am going to list here some things that are good about me:

I am good at languages, at making people laugh, at Frisbee, I like ska, I like Sherlock, I can do pretty good Irish and Australian accents, I have many amazing friends, like really, amazing friends, these guys made the final in the talent for my friendship, I'm not a bitch, I am not judgemental (particularly, nobody is fully non judgemental, it's human nature to judge) I am interested in people, and in science, and in anything either of those things has to say (unless it's about glee or greenhouse gasses, respectively) I like animals, I have been through stuff and I've come out the other side, I will listen, I want to help, I am a bit lazy but hey, whatever, I have a Mehdi, I can become what I want, I am clever, I will get the grades, I am 18 - this means fun, at least for a while, I have an amazing loving family, I am nice to anyone who is nice to me.

And oh, oh, the picnics I have organised.

People have said to me that they have met some amazing people, had some of the amazing times, and eaten some amazing amounts of food, at my picnics.

IF PICNICS ARE MY PURPOSE IN LIFE, I WILL BE HAPPY WITH THAT!

I think I discovered, via shower-thinking today, that life is life and it's mine, and that having a purpose or knowing who I am will never be important or particularly relevant as long as I'm smiling and that's about it.

See you all round

Ray <3 -xx-