QVC song thing

this little thing is dedicated to ouise,

she's eating her dinner and watching QVC

where old women and insomniacs spend their days

unable to retract from the unnatractive gaze

with a pale face in a frail place i must buy that concealer

i don't need it and i don't know why they sell this shit either

i'd never leave the house incase i missed one second of this gold

that might be fake but it's no earthquake i'm on the phone on hold

and when I have spent all my money on everthing there is

i'll put it away in my attic where all my posessions sit

and i'll pretend i'm happy about it but i'm asking you to think

this is for sure a cry for help, i'm about to buy this kitchen sink

and it might make you laugh

that QVC is all i have

it may seem daft

but QVCis all i have

and if you want advice

dont ask me coz qvc is all i have

and if you want to make it right

then take away all i have

i've memorised the phoneline

and the little message for the R.O.I

that flashes at the bottom of the screen

in it's relaxing little stream

and I don't pay the bills or pay my taxes

it only goes on this and thatses

and those his and hers coats will come in handy

for when my husband comes home from patsy

I don't care if he's cheating on me

coz i'm cheating on him with QVC

and you'll never get more from me

i started off, saying kill me, but i regret calling this a disease

and it might make you laugh

that QVC is all i have

it may seem daft

but QVCis all i have

and if you want advice

dont ask me coz qvc is all i have

and if you want to make it right

then take away all i have

it's about as funny as an abortion

and this addiction is getting out of proportion

with the happiness i once had in my life

at least i still have the status of 'wife'

but i'm getting old and this is fun

i'm watching the price drop one by one

and idiots calling down the line

who can't possibly be alive

and then i realise they're all as sad as me

spending all their money on something 'supreme'

and all i think is it's addictive

and the guy on the show is kind of 'wicked'

so QVC will be the death of me

i've already lost one kidney

from just sitting here and swigging whiskey

and it's all I have.