Dear Maddy

So, Maddy wrote 100 things she likes on her blog, to give her a surge of happiness, and she mentioned two things in there.

One made me happy, and one made me regret something I'd done a while back.

Firstly, she made me happy, because of the picnics, she said she likes my organising of them, and it makes me feel so f*cking brilliant, when I get home after a cold, painful picnic, carrying god knows what chocolate, drink or crisps that will slowly evolve into midnight snacks with caution, but i get home, turn on the computer, pop the camera in, slowly name each clip to make for easier editing, and then check on facebook whilst I have a break before the editing process.

I go on there, to find myself being tagged in about 6 notifications, thanks for such a great day, i had loads of fun, can't wait till next time, the occasional, i made a great few friends today, and it makes my eyes water, I love you guys so much, I just want all my friends to meet each other!

It really makes a huge part of my life, seeing it come together, seeing people asking me when the next picnic will be, showing remorse when they couldn't make it, it really does. Seeing people ask to come, then them coming, making friends (more fb evidence there) and then saying how much fun they had, it's brilliant for me.

And then the other part. Maddy's best friend is Callula, or lula, as is the short form, and I punched her in the face, in January 2010, which I am deeply ashamed of and regretful, and I was punished correctly by the school and such things, but she threatened the police were going to be called, which caused me a huge panic, and since then, avoided it at all costs, her, the situation, everything.

Now, she's in my gateway/epq class, and the level of awk is reaching a maximum, I really regret what I did, I think I wrote an apology, and probably even verbally, but I didn't want to face it and fight, I also didn't want the police on me, so I mentally ran off at that point, and I probably shouldn't have done.

I do not hate her at all, but it's just so awkward, and I feel a strike of guilt everytime I see a photo or hear her name, or see her in real life, and I'm sorry for that.

But anyway, go and raed Mdady's bolg: ciclk hree

Ray <3 xx