Something meaningful

you want me to tell you something meaningful
well i could try but it might be horrible
every kid thinks their life is trying
but i'm stuck in the loop, it's occupyin'

tearing at my brain both mentally and physically
whats the use in treating me medicinally
we all know that its down to trauma
and who are you to say your my father

you don't believe me, and your deluding yourself
i can't escape it and it's rotting my health
you never deserved me or my brother
and i'm glad as fuck that i've got my mother

my reputation is weak and feeble
coz i've been thought odd by so many people
whats one word that you're just escaping
that word is trust and you've been faking

telling the college you have an interest in me
more like a business email, periodically
I'm never gonna love you like you think
I'm keepin' it all, even the kitchen sink

It ain't just you that I'm hating on
It's all this people behind this song
you know, your WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY
the ones that abused me and fucked my mind, yeah?

Well guess what your one of them,
a common shit in that 95%
you used to swear to me that you weren't part of
well fuck off dad, you're as bad as

you're as bad as them, and if not worse
and now you left me with this curse
what they did altered my mental process
I thought I was insane until I noticed

I'm smart enough to get good grades
I'm never fucking seeing you again
Words are my art and I'm not ashamed
but you left me there when I was in pain

Did you even want a daughter?
You don't care what I do you fucking liar
I have nothing to say except hateful words
You can't rationalise that I've been hurt.

You left me alone in that house
after instructions from a mouth
that spoke on behalf of child protection
but what do you care you just left me with him

now my hate for you is part of me
seeing as you never showed any care for me
that day at the hospital you lied to me
and you put me through so much stress you see

I just can't take all your shit,
I wish you weren't on this planet
and now I've just got to live with it
and deal with the constant hate that comes with it

One day I hope you do realise
but mum says, and she's probably right
you'll never see it from my perspective
coz you chose your mother over your offspring

that was one wrong choice there,
she's nuts and should be in care
she's lied to you so many times
would've thought you could see through her lies