I just had a shower

And as well as doing all the usual shower clichés (washing, singing, crying, pretending I'm at the Oscars, and dancing with the flannel whilst the shampoo gets jealous) I thought.

Thinking, as in, well, not the normal thinking I do, which I assume to be the same (but perhaps of higher quality) than most other citizens aboard the merry planet Earth, yet, this was a style of thinking, that allowed me to think, you know, go right down deep and discover a gritty core of intelligence and wonder (beneath the less gritty layer of intelligence, wonder and a taste for Marmite).

I have decided, that I am, worth it. You know, this whole life thing. For a while it's all been 'What's the point it's not like I am going to last long, and I could die tomorrow, and people will forget about me, and move on, and I'll eventually be old and dead and my kids will think my music is dumb and old and I am too obsessed with Sherlock and everyone will notice how lame I am because nobody goes near my gritty layer of intelligence and wonder and Marmite because nobody bloody likes Marmite


And so on....

So basically, I have been talking myself into a rainy outlook and deliberately chancing an umbrella and chancing NOT to, for a while. I have since discovered that I AM AN IDIOT.

Well, in that sense.

I took an average of my IQ scores (out of 5) and got 120... although I don't trust online tests, which puts me in the above-above average intelligence level. Hoorah?

Besides the point, I am an idiot in the sense that my amazing comedic genius has been skulking away behind the curtains of my teenage wallowing ability. Which you know, I'm sure will adapt soon into an adult wallowing ability, I am going to list here some things that are good about me:

I am good at languages, at making people laugh, at Frisbee, I like ska, I like Sherlock, I can do pretty good Irish and Australian accents, I have many amazing friends, like really, amazing friends, these guys made the final in the talent for my friendship, I'm not a bitch, I am not judgemental (particularly, nobody is fully non judgemental, it's human nature to judge) I am interested in people, and in science, and in anything either of those things has to say (unless it's about glee or greenhouse gasses, respectively) I like animals, I have been through stuff and I've come out the other side, I will listen, I want to help, I am a bit lazy but hey, whatever, I have a Mehdi, I can become what I want, I am clever, I will get the grades, I am 18 - this means fun, at least for a while, I have an amazing loving family, I am nice to anyone who is nice to me.

And oh, oh, the picnics I have organised.

People have said to me that they have met some amazing people, had some of the amazing times, and eaten some amazing amounts of food, at my picnics.

IF PICNICS ARE MY PURPOSE IN LIFE, I WILL BE HAPPY WITH THAT!

I think I discovered, via shower-thinking today, that life is life and it's mine, and that having a purpose or knowing who I am will never be important or particularly relevant as long as I'm smiling and that's about it.

See you all round

Ray <3 -xx-

What... is happening!?

I'm watching Holby city. It has so many great one liners but all my friends think it's for old women, and that I am obsessed with medical programmes, which I am, but it's cool, the human and it's things that happen.

And the masses of sexual tension on Holby city, and all the strange shipping.

Sometimes, I write the lyrics to 'we didn't start the fire' in the margins of my work. Usually psychology. I mean, I am obviously the best student in psychology. I'm hilarious and understand and have an interest and challenge Dierdre's spelling... but, I think, okay. I think the class dislike me.

There's me, and Belinda, and Alannah, and Danielle, and then other people who might not want to be mentioned on my little blog, who like me, and are nice, and I like them. All the other people just seem to be irritated at my presence, which, in fact, inspires me to be more irritating.

There are a couple of people, however, who wind me up, because they are idiots as in, follow the instructions, don't ask stupid questions, open your eyes, actually read the handouts/powerpoint/whatever is written on the board, oh, yeah, and please, pleeaassee, continue being horrifically rude and insulting to our teacher. Me and Belinda find everything they say quite entertaining, it's hard not to giggle... so I did today.

Back to Holby - things are heating up!

Today I kept being creepy and saying old wives tale's in an Irish whispering voice, was rather entertaining, honestly.. bahaha

So Facebook has decided to give me an advert for Slimfast... this makes me feel very confident about myself. I haven't been googling anything weight loss related, either, so maybe they have software that analyses how fat I am and displays relevant adverts...

OH GOD OH GOD NOT SPORT RELIEF, NO. NO NO NO. I just dislike it, I'm terrible, I'm not sporty, but that's not the reason why, it just winds me up and makes me feel guilty, yeah, so yeah...

Now I'm watching Horizon, which states you should exercise 3 minutes a week!! Well, whatever, I shall watch, I do love Horizon, too ;)

Right well, that's enough of that for now :D

Love, peace and chicken grease,

Ray <3 -xx-

Things

Okay, so I am a bit of a bitch (and a procrastinating one at that)

I don't want my friends to hang around with people I don't like, okay, I mean, I personally haven't had a problem, it's just through my life a certain group of people have made a lot of people extremely unhappy and upset, and I thought I'd got rid of them after I moved to Bitterne Park.

Then at Itchen I make friends with this lovely girl who is crazy and funny, but it turns out she's friends (ish) with those people. And, yeah, I imagine they've grown up, but I just, no, it's a difficult grudge to get over. And now I feel like a bitch for saying to my friend I'd rather they didn't meet up with them... oh my dayz, this is stupid... yes. Stupid.

I'm also trying to do my English coursework but I can't read Shaun's handwriting for the life of me, so I feel like throttling him tomorrow when the deadline slowly starts approaching.

I really should re-print my transcript out anyway. THAT PISSES ME OFF, TOO. The downstairs computer completely moved my perfectly aligned transcribing so it looks like there isn't any overlaps when there ARE overlaps. **cries**

I'm off to print some shit out then, I guess.. Yeah, sorry about that, I mean, I do hold grudges, but usually only for a reason.

On a lighter note, I love all my friends so much and they are all such babes, and I love my mum for watching nearly all the picnic videos with me.

L,P &CG
Ray <3 -xx-

Blog and pics from the last few days

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONEEEE :D

Also, I had tinned spag bol for lunch, and my stepdad announces we are to have spag bol for dinner also AH SEESH... oh well, I do enjoy pasta so w/e #firstworldproblems

ANYWAY... Mehdi had his t-shirt, I'm perfectly sane, and Louise doesnt know THIS song, I found out by singing down the phone to her. So, I think I will start with the first day or so. I mean, I decided I was going to take a photo everyday, but I'm not sure which ones where sat and sunday, so I lumped them together:

This is a packet of 'giant' white chocolate buttons, except they weren't particularly giant... XD

This is the same packet more in focus, but I prefer it slightly not in focus

Here's my dog with some serious red-eye... silly me forgot to turn the flash off, he was like WTF BRIGHT LIGGHTTT please walk me :3 :'''3

So I did, and that was... I'm not sure what day(s) that was. Here's some more:

That's my pillow, owltair, daddy frisco and chester all looking dead...

That's Bartek Cebula, I got him from a packet of chewing gum in Poland, how cool is that, and my clock on a rubik's cube

I love this and the one underneath, some epic duckery is going on, that's my display

Not the entire display, though

That's the corner of Owltair and the rest of my room, I really like this one

This is an epic cushion I have on my bed, I love it 

That's basically my wallpaper, yeah, my room is some funky shiz

I like that, it's the pattern on the ceiling from my 'chandelier' yeah, it's not a proper chandelier, but it tries. DON'T JUDGE IT

Who likes the view from my window. I'm listening to Elevation by U2

Oh look, some Spanish homework ;) I love talking about the family and relationships, really, I do, it takes me forever sometimes because what the heck would I answer to some of those... 3 = How do you believe the model of the family has changed during the last 50 years, 4 = what is the most important in a family, 5 = what characteristics do you think a good father has.... OH NO I keep noticing more and more grammar mistakes

This is the ghost dog series ;)

See how much better he looks without the flash on my camera. He was annoyed and waiting for me to take him out lol. 

I took some more photos on our walk out. I didn't photograph him today. I was on the phone, and some crazy dog tried to fight him, that was a jumble, I'm telling you, but here are some photos from YESTERDAY.

Stop the cavalry just came on my songs... why am I listening to Christmas songs XD FUEGO Y MIEDO is better... (fire and fear) RIGHT, onto the piccies.

I find where I walk the dog quite odd, like someone has just frisbeed a piece of land into the middle of a city, but it's winter and not many trees have branches on... yeah, I just thought that really captured the difference. The green that looks a bit desolate and the city behind it... yeah.

I was messing around with the branches, I like looking at branches on trees.

So it snowed here the other day... Thursday night, but it didn't lay. Much to my suprise 5 days later finding a lump of muddy/snow/ice in the middle of the completely thawed environment.

A bit further down I found this rose just randomly attached to a branch, I thought it was quite cute, there's always something to photograph on the green.

There's Mungo chilling and sniffing whilst I'm taking photos

There's the rose with Mungo in the background lol

DEMON MUNGO

Less Demonic Dog... he's all like "Why the bloody hell does she keep pointing that camera in my face"

I was taking photos of myself (bored waiting for a cab) and Mungo poked his head round, had to take a photo

Or two... bahaha "You humans are sooo vain"

"I refuse, to look at the camera, I will stare at the underside of this table, where my chair WAS before you pulled it out to wake me up ¬¬"

SOD OF PAUL MCCARTNEY, IT IS FEBRUARY FFS... so many Christmas songs...not in the mood for the Clash either. Just remembered my knowledge of the Clash got my English class to stare at me more than normal... oh fun, A2 English is so random sometimes. LOOK AT THAT VOCAB 'random' tusk. Also, most 'like's are like, used like, for like comedic like purposes

Anyway, back to this

Mungo: Gah-uhhhh I'm too lazy to yawm properly

Nelson: I'm going to look now, look at my evil feline pose!

Mungo: OMG A TABLE LEG
Nelson: This floor...is after me

No I refuse to look, seriously, I will look a bit off and down, just to annoy you.

I...MUST...RUB...MY...FACE...ON...YOUR...CAMERA

Sad or evil?

MUNGO PAW :'D

Benedict Cumberbatch  Oh look it's Nelson

Continuing the pet's theme, here's the zip necklace Ayshah got me for my 18th. I really like it, it's unique and not at all fiddly to wear, and it functions like a real zip.

Anyway, yeahhh, hope you enjoyed that...

Love, peace and chicken grease

Rayface <3 -xx- 

Here's my day, with some photos

I did take some more personal photos but they're on facebook and not on here, as facebook is more social.

So, Mum wanted to go into work early, and I was hungry, so I wanted to venture to tesco's, and the place where Mum dropped me off meant a venture across a luke warm tepid cold FREEZING rec(reational ground), and I stopped and took a couple of pictures.



See I like this one, because it looks so vast, and that horrible cold winter sky above those trees that look out of place, it just looks so bizarre

And I thought that one was quite cool because you can see the grass, a sign for fish and chips on that house, some sort of civilian area with Tudor style second storeys. It's a nice walk though, it takes 20 minutes from my house and straight to college, but it's very cold, I mean, look at that sky, and that skeleton of a tree in the second picture.

So I had a nice long chat with Louise at lunch time, and she just burst into hysterics about her gloves trying to escape from her bag, and... that sounds immensely stupid written down, but I whipped out my camera and she insisted I use it as my blog photo. So, I'm including it.

It's just screaming with sadness, that poor, poor glove. Also, Gary often lives in that section. My gloves are fingerless, which makes me feel like I constantly have frostbite, because I'm a dramatic little sod who takes photos. I like photos. Anyway....

Later, Sarah and I were in the alcove and I was being somewhat, artistic (artisans is almost as good a word as citadel) I say artistic, I was faffing about with the camera. Here's some more pictures:

This here, above, is an angled-roofed corridor at an angle, I like the light and the reflection. It's so claustrophobic that corridor. Yes, it's scared of small places.

This is a picture of Sarah's odd socks. I just like the stripeyness tbh.

That's a crack in the wall... obviously, I just like it, I don't know why either, so don't ask, I guess haha XD

This above picture was just me messing around and seeing what I could do with the light reflecting off the frames in the corridor, Sarah has a picture of me taking this picture, somewhere, lol.

This is a sign we all know and love in the alcove at college. The answer is no, and that's a big fat collective 0% of students 'no'.

The first photo is with my shoe in focus, the second is with the floor in focus, I think that both of those are pretty awesome photos

This here is a lowly light switch, again I was messing about with the focus, and got it to focus on the switch as someone fuzzily comes up the corridor. It's quite a good one, I like this corridor for pictures.

Anyway,  Have a good day, birthday, religious holiday, evening, afternoon, sleep (depending on when you read this)

Love Ray <3

-xx-

Today

It was review day today, but more importantly, me, Louise, my brother and his two friends from Public Services decided to go and do some meditation. I thought it would be a pile of... well you know what, really, and I joked around about how I felt during the experience as I walked to Bitterne with Louise,

Then she left, and I was alone with myself (probably a bad idea) and it was cold and I went to Greggs and things, but on my way out, I saw a dog, on the floor in front of one of the Wednesday market stalls. I started talking to Amber's owner and then stroked the dog. Ordinarily I would be afraid of a random dog, but this time I wasn't. I was cold and I went to Sainsbury's for about 30 minutes and walked around and just found amusement and awe in nothingness, just really, I felt like I was on some kind of drug, and I was half talking to myself all the way around the shop, it was bizarre, honestly.

Then it was cold so I went early to get my face waxed, and that was fine, it was all fine, I didn't care about anything. Then it was too cold to walk home so I got the just arrived bus home, and went in, and then watched Submarine, which was a good film. I then took the dog out, but I went on the swing.

I was just there, on the swing, and it sounds pathetic and ridiculous but I mean, I felt completely odd, just like I was able to answer all the questions, and I suddenly was able to separate and slow down everything. I decided I want to write this blog, to read a book, to write the first few scenes of the film, and one thing, which is, I want to take at least one photo everyday, and blog about it.

Here's today's:

This is me, in the middle of my road, taken from my brother's bedroom window at 4 this afternoon. It's so cold that I am wearing a t-shirt, a scarf, then a hoodie, then another hoodie, then gloves (in that order). I'd just got back from taking the Mungo out.

Anyway... blog finished

Ray <3

-xx-