So, what's new?

Not a lot actually...

I returned to college today, was sound, but we'll get onto that later.

Firstly, last night, I watched Holby, then Silent Witness, then I came up and made my bag for tomorrow...or today? Anyway, I spent a good 15 minutes looking for some christmas stationary - I am a bit of a pen fanatic sometimes.

On the pens I read that they were sport pens. SPORT pens!? sport PENS!? SPORT PENS!?

How, someone please enlighten me, can a pen, a writing tool, have anything to do with sport. I can understand sports clothing, sports drinks, even manage to get my head around sport headphones but PENS!?

Well, at least I'll feel I'll be getting some excersise whilst in class, scribbling away a bit of work and a bit of nonesense.

Well, I packed my bag, forgetting my timetable mind, but who needs to know what lessons they have?

I went to bed after that, and I actually could NOT sleep. I laid awake for about three hours, slightly trying to hypnotise myself, and envisioning all the random crap I kept thinking about being chucked into a safe and locked up. Then...THEN, two cats decided to have a fight.


Yoooowwllll Mroaaawwwaaawww Oh, my life. It's so late and all I want to do is sleep so that I don't die in my first lesson tomorrow.

I appear to be writing about the past in the present tense.

Anyway, next thing you know I found myself awake, but only after sleeping for 2 hours! Grr. But, I did manage to get back to sleep again quite quickly.

Upon my awakle, I just invented a word, I did something I would have never normally: I ate breakfast

:O DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN

I broke my fast at the appropriate time! Anyway, I had a marmite sandwich.

Anyway, I got to college. I was starting to realise just how much I had missed my friends, and we've already had many adventures today, but I'm getting a bit of a sense of paranoia at the moment.

That's probably because either:

a) the people of creepiness that reside in colleges
b) I'm just THAT awesome to talk about
c) They've been reading this blog, and discovered many odd things about me :O

Well I don't lie in this blog, mainly because my mother reads it...

Shout out to her :) x

I always end my texts with a smiley and a kiss, seems to go down well tbh.

We had a spanish exam today, It was rather confusing, I understood the spanish, and the english, just couldn't quite put the two together on all occasions today.

I did get an A in my coursework about Cesar Milan though.

Hola, me llamo cesar y soy en la television porque soy la amaestradora de los perros....

Gotta love the dog whisperer :')

The main reason I wanted to blog today was because of the sport pens. Maybe I'll get a muscle-y wrist, or am combating the risk or writers cramp.

Who knows? I know that I just love pens :P

xx

Rachel

Revision, Revision, Revision

It isn't what it says it is, is it.

When I am revising, It is not because I know what I have learnt and am refreshing my memory.... I am learning it, usually because I was staring out of a window here or there, or was away on some bizarre psychology trip so I missed the fluid mosaic model entirely..... *deep breath*

But I am clever, I'm not going to deny it, but I'm not talking like LOOK AT ME I'M SO SMART NEEERRRR... I'm just saying, that no one REvises, they just...well vise, i suppose.

I am of to do a bit of vision.

But the thing is, we should be constantly skimming over our knowledge, stopping those traces decaying, and only using the textbooks as cues to trigger a memory....

See what I did there? ;)

But we don't, none of us do, unless we are actually willing to learn something in our free time. Sure, I am interested in Biology and Psychology, Just not interested in the exact models and having to learn all the fancy names, or perhaps, not interested in writing down a Grave evaluation on Milgram's study one more time.

I have 10 science books on my desk that I recieved for christmas....

2 from Richard Wiseman
1 from Derren Brown
4 from New scientist
and 2 others, Bad Science by Ben goldacre, which is amusing, and "How to recycle your granny" - which mum must have seen and...thought of me?

The thing is, I think it is profitable, and valuable to have access to this information that is of entertainment to me. Such as someone might rather have a book by Alan titchmarsh or Joe from gardeners world, if they are interested in plants.

So, what am I? You wouldn't call the person with the books on gardening a "horticulture nerd" But I am just a general boffin, because I'm interested in science and mostly pyschological and neurological.

And specifically, how to lie so I can be the best world dominating world dominator there ever was, is and will be ;)

And I based my subjects on this fact, The sociology, to understand norms and culture. The Biology, to see just how our tickers tick and what gets on our nerves to make them fire. The English, mainly what drew me to that is in one module we are going to be looking at the development of language. The psychology 'coz I like all that mind stuff, and the Spanish? Well....


Elegí estudiar espanol, porque, amo los idiomas, en realidad, me odio el francais, es aburrido y francais tiene... memorias mal, para yo, pero si.... Elegí espanol porque puedo hablo sobre personas yo no gusto....jajaja

So hopefully, I'll be a real life bond villain :)

The thing is, I don't know If I'll ever go to university, I mean, I want to, but I don't know what to study, I want to make decisions based on what I will enjoy in a job. Maybe I could get paid for playing robot unicorn attack and blogging...but haha.

And there's all this stuff about money. I don't want to get political here, but... I LOVE GORDON BROWN :')

Not really guys don't worry.

Back to the point, I'm a superstar, just perhaps not an academic one, although I do pretty well, moved to a good school and got 6bs and 4as, I just don't have the drive at the boring bits, but most students are like that. I do want to work past the boring bit, to get to the good bit.

The boring bit for me was always physics and chemistry practicals...REALLY, I have to put this wire in this solution and ARGH...electrolysis and I never got along. Those closest to me at the time must have wondered how I managed to not just leave... Like I said, not an academic superstar... And physics was worst, not only did you have to make a million columns, there was 15000 calculations to do meaning more columns and...How I got a B in physics I did not know.

I did one exam with a scribe because I injured my hand causing a nice little jam and break of the joint in one finger, and the massive swelling up and greying of my entire right hand. Good old taekwon do. Never block with a knife-hand.

But I managed to pass, by some miracle, I managed to pass them all.

College is a lot different, I don't care much for sociology, it's going next year. I may do my extended project on why I chose to drop the class. Really, I thought we would be looking at different cultures and religions etc...but we're looking at what functionalists think about the nuclear family.

That's very here, in England, but also, very boring. I may be able to scrape a pass using the source, some wit and some long sociology associated words...but I haven't revised for it in the christmas break, and my exam is sometime between the 10th and the 15th of Jan... :D

I have revised for Psychology, and made a list of future things to revise, and I am now doing a test for biology, at 1:14 am... but I only have 3 exams...Psych, Bio and Soc...and I hate soc.

I mentioned earlier my hatred for practicals, not biology though, I loved my friend seated behind me wondering around with a sheep's eye on the end of a scalpel and waving it in people's faces, but I also love the biology of AS Level, because it involves cutting animals hearts and lungs up, and...making the aorta talk to the Pulmonary artery.

I would say, and no one wants to be the average, and I don't, but I seem to be an average person, very good at procrastinating, and the perks that come with it, such as being good at blogs and having high scores on facebook games, but I am not your average teenage girl.

Sure, I care about boys, but I've seen some of my friends crying every five minutes, I don't want these issues to take up my day, I want to share my wit, usually. I'm short, so I have to make up for that, people recognise me for it.

They either love me, usually the case, or think I am some kind of wierdo, because I drew a mini octopus to mark the point on the graph in statistics in year 10, or perhaps because in year 8 I wrote that I wanted 2 slices of toast for xmas in german In german class....muahaha.

I need to start seeing my friends again, because I might actually go insane, blogging long into the night about my unfortunate adventures...

I know if Maddy makes it this far, her brain will have mushed and then melted and been kept in an emergency level, and then re-mushed and cooled down, offered a cup of tea which it refused, and then gone to bed.

I am not trying to hard, I am just typing what I want to say, to SOMEONE, ANYONE...

Well, I am normal in many ways. I have a mum who I love, and who I have a good solid relationship with....mostly ;D

I have a stepdad, who Is a bit annoying, but we can debate about science which I love!

There's my brother, who comes into my room when I'm in the middle of something and asks stupid questions, but I love him.

I hate some of my brothers friends, I dislike people, I don't want to upset people, but I don't want to be walked on, I have loads to share, sometimes I'm just afraid to share it, because let's be honest...If some people saw this blog...

I watch harry hills TV Burp, the apprentice, SHAMELESS, waterloo road, holby, casualty...oh I love it all.

What I'm trying to say is, I am a teenager, I go to college, I study, I get into fights, I need to get a part-time job and I watch lousy shit on the TV...

but I know I'll keep writing stuff into this blog, that won't make sense, but some will get it, and these people that get it, they are worth a chat too.

P.S

after that odd semi-chronological blog, does anybody own a wheelchair Maddy and I could borrow...we have a *bit* of an evil plot ahead of us, and we would only need it for one evening or so...nothing world dominatory :)

راتشال - dats my name in arabic biatch

Seriously? Again?

I never finished the season 4 of heroes, don't get me wrong, I not only loved samuel sullivan and his carnival, but I felt I could fit in there quite nicely.

If you're bored, why are you reading this? But, if you really ARE bored, read the previous paragraph/sentence with a lisp.

If you were born with a lisp, learnt to speak with one and the like, does that little voice in your head that reads your books and mocks you? Yeah? Does it speak with a lisp too?

ANYWAY, seeing as NBC decided to cancel heroes, I have found the all American cheese version "no ordinary family" without the correct capitals and such but I don't care, it's 1:25am, and therefore, already tomorrow. Not American Cheese as that gooey stuff Adam sometimes eats on man vs food, the kind that makes you cringe a little and think "Are Americans really like that?"

Well, they aren't, only the superhero families.

MORE TO THE POINT - be aware, I can't stay with the point for long - The set(s) on this programme are similar, I would go to far as to say THE SAME ONES as from House M.D (Wilson <3)....The Lab were she works, is it globatech? Yeah, it has the same modern panelling seen in House, and there was a shot where the bad guy was searching the parents room, and it looked like their bed and dresser was where the chairs outside Cuddy's office would be...If it were House, and it had doors....in the place of where the doors to Cuddy's office may belong.

Basically, I'm trying to reduce my time awake, for I go back to college on the 5th, meaning, tomorrow night, I should aim to be asleep, or in bed trying to think of the best scheme for world domination....as usual....by the time of 11pm.

This is backfiring, I am 1 and a half, and 1 minute! at this moment in time, over my limit to turn the computer off, but I just couldn't help myself, and played a good amount of robot unicorn attack, I find the heavy metal version is more...unrelenting...I may have reversed my age slightly....

And as this fateful blog draws to a close, let me remind you all:

Winnebago is a 19th century American chicken breed of unknown origin. It appears to have been a precursor to the modern Golden Wyandotte.

Okay, 1am Rant

I, am about to go to bed.

I, with a comma, for elaboration and emphasis because italics is a waste of time at the moment, but...

I, was about to retire to the land of curly wurly induced dreams, after attempting an IQ test, without my glasses 119 btw CHECK ME OUT, but I went on facebook, and probably lost all my IQ score anyway.

The first thing I noticed was that people's status updates were "Can't sleep" and along those lines.

a) aaaattention seeking (more like a sneeze at the beginning there, probably for more attention)
b) Why are you on facebook?

I'm kind of tired, but I don't have a natural sleeping system anymore, because my phone has facebook on it, and with the impulsive liking, commenting and updating, I have undone any training and taught my brain to reach and grab my phone.

I can't be bothered to TRY and fall asleep, so I'll turn on my phone. Might as well turn my laptop back on, then I get full facebook coverage.

Just something that annoys me.

Don't think of me as insane, but, My perfomance in Uno, 'tis a colourful card game, was significantly improved after watching Derren Brown's programmes on 4OD. I generally get hyper - excited because it's Uno and it's colourful, much like your eyes, dear, but I won a round by bluffing, placing instinctively, almost managed to cheat by putting a green miss a turn card on top of a yellow four, but my brother caught me, and any rounds I did lose, it was usually 15 ish, so not bad.

I won overall, with 175 muahaha. If you want to win, show confidence in your body language or something, and bluff that you want to change the colour to red, when infact your last card was yellow, and it all banks on your brother having a red four.

Good night, sleep tight....that sounds painful, not too tight, we want no asphyxia :)

Oh, and happy new year :P but that's too obvious to blog about.

Yours Faithfully,

Rachel.

P.S me, you, Rolf Harris?

Inshallah ;)

Funky Sauce Rap

Taken from an uber msn convo, this is what happens at 00:23 am lol

I be rachel, I am fly with my lyrici

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CHLOE SAYS:
*I LOVE GETTING DOWN WITH DEE FUNKY SAUCE
*Dee funky sauce is deee bommm


RACHEL SAYS:
*excuse me mam, i think im addicted, I didn't do my homework and i blamed it that the dog ate it, my names rachel im 16 years young, and i've been downing funky sauce since i was one, I know this is a place for support and anonymity, but really, what is the point in this committee, i mean, funky sauce is just so damn good, used in any context, its in my blood, my only worry is that if i bathe in it, i may never get out and i may drown in it!


CHLOE SAYS:
*LOLOLOLOL.


RACHEL SAYS:
*its true though, im up to my knees, i don't want help but im begging you please, perhaps just wean me off slowly, so that i only eat it with jacket potatoes, and what if i was to propose an hour, where funky sauce has more power, then we all get to jump right in, no consequences just take a swim, i know that you wanna get down and dirty, but im just a clown and when i turn thirty, im gonna have twins called funky and sauce, and they'd been having it straight from the umbelical cord, now watch your step, your treading over the line, let me just finish my rhyme, then i promise, i'll hand the good stuff over, except the stash thats hidden under my sofa

Something meaningful

you want me to tell you something meaningful
well i could try but it might be horrible
every kid thinks their life is trying
but i'm stuck in the loop, it's occupyin'

tearing at my brain both mentally and physically
whats the use in treating me medicinally
we all know that its down to trauma
and who are you to say your my father

you don't believe me, and your deluding yourself
i can't escape it and it's rotting my health
you never deserved me or my brother
and i'm glad as fuck that i've got my mother

my reputation is weak and feeble
coz i've been thought odd by so many people
whats one word that you're just escaping
that word is trust and you've been faking

telling the college you have an interest in me
more like a business email, periodically
I'm never gonna love you like you think
I'm keepin' it all, even the kitchen sink

It ain't just you that I'm hating on
It's all this people behind this song
you know, your WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY
the ones that abused me and fucked my mind, yeah?

Well guess what your one of them,
a common shit in that 95%
you used to swear to me that you weren't part of
well fuck off dad, you're as bad as

you're as bad as them, and if not worse
and now you left me with this curse
what they did altered my mental process
I thought I was insane until I noticed

I'm smart enough to get good grades
I'm never fucking seeing you again
Words are my art and I'm not ashamed
but you left me there when I was in pain

Did you even want a daughter?
You don't care what I do you fucking liar
I have nothing to say except hateful words
You can't rationalise that I've been hurt.

You left me alone in that house
after instructions from a mouth
that spoke on behalf of child protection
but what do you care you just left me with him

now my hate for you is part of me
seeing as you never showed any care for me
that day at the hospital you lied to me
and you put me through so much stress you see

I just can't take all your shit,
I wish you weren't on this planet
and now I've just got to live with it
and deal with the constant hate that comes with it

One day I hope you do realise
but mum says, and she's probably right
you'll never see it from my perspective
coz you chose your mother over your offspring

that was one wrong choice there,
she's nuts and should be in care
she's lied to you so many times
would've thought you could see through her lies

Random spur of the moment rhyming

This must be meaningful to someone

_____________________________________________________________________________________

this song is a plant of a flowering variety
the rhythm of a chant with a botanical proriety
it takes the nurtients from under your feet
and even in a photosynthesis contest:
your mum would admit defeat

I ain't lying
I'm not not telling the truth
but this double negative's positive
without your abuse

I'm healthy in a good way
and other way's I'm not
I'm a lyrical genius
and i don't have any teeth rot

Like a cold train station on a summers day,
the plot was wrong from the beginning anyway
if you think i'm smoking something then you are fooled
i have no lungs i'm an aquatic-mammal hybrid.

Only joking gills aren't real
unless your a fish and i do wish
that i should really think before i speak
but if we all did that then life would be meek

I mean then not than im not making a comparison
go compare yourself and then buy it on amazon
better yet break the law and download it for free
we all know our concious is format of mp3

and declaration 33 of our wonderful society
claims bouncey castles are affluent pediatrists
but like i said in the other verse
i shouldn't just speak, i should think first.


And when that train pulls into this station
let me make just one, rectification
I'm not asking for the sake of you
but i mean seriously? do I have to?

And that's one thing that's wrong with this world
apart from david cameron and genocide
we never quick to shift our responsibility, huh?
and it's a crime to commit suicide.

We over analyse the human mental process
dishing out pills and blaming smokers
but if i was just me and i didn't know what i did?
wouldn't that make me some kind of invalid?

I'm just a confused teenager with a messed up pass
a sign on my head that says "do not tresspass"
although i know you do anyway
the apples in my orchard are to good to stay away

And i'm not trying to start no criticism
but why can't you just be normal citizens
am i crazy or am i sane
or am i just deluded again

and you know derren brown and osama bin laden
know each other through six degrees of seperation
it's way too much for us to take in
and what's with the internets love of bacon?

i don't really like it...


_____________________________________________________________________________________

lol hope you enjoyed that, kind of meaningful, don't steal this or anything because I am like friends with nasa, and they will find some aliens to shoot you