Dear Maddy

So, Maddy wrote 100 things she likes on her blog, to give her a surge of happiness, and she mentioned two things in there.

One made me happy, and one made me regret something I'd done a while back.

Firstly, she made me happy, because of the picnics, she said she likes my organising of them, and it makes me feel so f*cking brilliant, when I get home after a cold, painful picnic, carrying god knows what chocolate, drink or crisps that will slowly evolve into midnight snacks with caution, but i get home, turn on the computer, pop the camera in, slowly name each clip to make for easier editing, and then check on facebook whilst I have a break before the editing process.

I go on there, to find myself being tagged in about 6 notifications, thanks for such a great day, i had loads of fun, can't wait till next time, the occasional, i made a great few friends today, and it makes my eyes water, I love you guys so much, I just want all my friends to meet each other!

It really makes a huge part of my life, seeing it come together, seeing people asking me when the next picnic will be, showing remorse when they couldn't make it, it really does. Seeing people ask to come, then them coming, making friends (more fb evidence there) and then saying how much fun they had, it's brilliant for me.

And then the other part. Maddy's best friend is Callula, or lula, as is the short form, and I punched her in the face, in January 2010, which I am deeply ashamed of and regretful, and I was punished correctly by the school and such things, but she threatened the police were going to be called, which caused me a huge panic, and since then, avoided it at all costs, her, the situation, everything.

Now, she's in my gateway/epq class, and the level of awk is reaching a maximum, I really regret what I did, I think I wrote an apology, and probably even verbally, but I didn't want to face it and fight, I also didn't want the police on me, so I mentally ran off at that point, and I probably shouldn't have done.

I do not hate her at all, but it's just so awkward, and I feel a strike of guilt everytime I see a photo or hear her name, or see her in real life, and I'm sorry for that.

But anyway, go and raed Mdady's bolg: ciclk hree

Ray <3 xx

Review of sweets.

So as you may remember, I complained about my dad bringing me sweets from France, but due to my gnawing hunger, I decided to sample them.

I picked them up with the 'OHHHH CARAMBAR' I remember these... really rather chewy french sweets. Anyway, I have:

Les Minis (I'm assuming small versions of perhaps what could be bigger)

CARAMBAR (The brand, originating with caramel sweets, or perhaps because the word for sweet is something to do with caramel, like in spanish, it's caramelo)

FestiMix (Party Mix, and I'm sticking with that)

120 Bonbons environ (120 sweets inside? Oh yay my jaw will LOVE me)

So they came in Fraise, Peche, Cerise, Caramel (yay) and Cola.

Seeing as I like peach and cherry sweets, it was doing quite well, and I like the caramel ones.

So, I opened the tub. GOOD BLIMEY. The waft of wafting essences of sweets flew over me, the caramel was most overpowering, but with hints of other clashing fruitful flavours, it managed to smell creamy and alcoholic, and thus my brain registered it as smelling of Bailey's. Which I really really like, so that's a good start.

It's odd, they all look like little armless, legless creatures that can't escape, all piled on top of one another, screaming at me in French. Here's a picture of the Bailey's smelling sweet-creatures:

And don't worry if you can't see their little faces, because I took a close up of each one, specifically for the blog. Now let's start the main review.

I picked up caramel, I knew I'd be safe with it. He's kinda cute (they're all male by the way, due to the arrogant nature of their faces)

This is desperately chewy, and causes me much pain, but the taste is ABSOLUTELY fantasmical, like literally...

So, It's my favourite tasting one, but it hurts to chew it haha. Luckily, the others aren't as chewy, so we continue into the rest of the tub...

Also, this is a conversation I had with Louise at exactly this point, when discovering that there was writing inside of the packet:

quel est le lapin le plus explosif?

[6:35:28 PM] Rachel Morris: Pan Pan!

[6:35:35 PM] Louise Parker: More explosive rabbit?

[6:35:39 PM] Louise Parker: WTF??

[6:35:53 PM] Louise Parker: No, wait...

[6:36:04 PM] Louise Parker: The most explosive rabbit

[6:36:09 PM] Rachel Morris: yes i got that haha

[6:36:20 PM] Rachel Morris: im trying one of each flavour

Indeed.... indeed.

So the next one I chose was peach, it's not too bad

Not very peach looking, I know, but it was reasonable....slightly burn-y... but not too bad...

So I moved onto cola, although not in a cola mood.

It was VERY cola, so fizzy, and it was unexpected, and I nearly ran a mile before realising the cola was still in my mouth. So I got over it, and then mentioned to Louise that my pallet needs cleansing in between these erratic sweets, and popped the cherry

sweet into my mouth. ;)

Now it tasted pretty much completely chemical and nothing like cherry, but I still quite enjoyed it, and then managed to eat the strawberry one.

I was reluctant to do so, because it smelt like strawberry yoghurt (synthetic) and hand cream, and it had a plastic 'before' taste. Anyway, here's the picture.

Dad also managed to find gum that looked like packets of Durex, and the packet smells really strongly, yet vaguely, of watermelon.

I mean REALLY...

anyway, overall, all French sweets are wierd... feel free to sample it all yourself

Lol,

Ray <3 xx

Blimey...

Turns out that I'm even procrastinating my homework even with the incentive I set myself, which is I get to watch Waterloo Road when I finish it, and guess what, I'm on blogspot and listening to 'No Regrets' by Dappy, which is actually not my cup of tea at all, and isn't helping...

Here's a picture I took yesterday but didn't really fit in with the pet theme:

aren't the 'ransome note' fridge magnets I bought for Chris's birthday awesome?

When I was in year six we made our own doctor who film and wrote 'Bad Wolf' on the white board, those little plastic multi-coloured letters and numbers, lol.

Anyway, today, at college, there was a man with a ladder drilling into the ceiling. I made a bit of conversation with him, because he laughed because I commented about him having a drill, and then later, whilst I was waiting to go into EPQ, me and Sarah went and sat down the corridor with Ross and Ryan, and the plants down this corridor are a bit... odd.

I was sat, and the plant poked me in the head with it's leaf, and I had a minor shout at it, and Sarah asked me: "Is it another racist plant pot?" Which I completely forgot even existed, or why it's racist, but you know, it make me laugh, but this plant was not racist, it was nice, and my 'Best Buddy' as I so called it, and had a right old convo with it, which should help it to grow into a near beanstalk with added Jack category.

Anyway, I took a picture of my plant friend and I:

You see, I still have a huge Thursday break, as do most people, but last year we all had it at the same time and got up to all sorts, way more than befriending plants, anyway. Here is one of my favourite all time Thursday moments:

This is me and Louise, after deciding we both needed to fall out and be sent to the naughty step, and I think Jo was taking the picture. She managed to get Rowan... being Rowan in the background, and a highly confused Dave walking past, wondering what all the fuss was about, every Thursday.

Anyway, I really should get back to my work... thanks for reading :)

Ray <3 xx

Must Blog...

Turns out that Maddy (and ALL of her Witterings..) have been making immense progress in terms of blogging with happiness and including photos and such.

I took a pretty damn awesome photo of my cat Nelson, I wish my phone's camera was of higher quality, but I shall none the less plop it here for you. Plop. Moist. Plinth....

Also, my brother just made a noise like an air raid siren, when he said "oh" to his friend on xbox live...

Air raid sirens insight an extreme fear in me, the doom and gloom of the year four hall, watching films about poor children and Jim from eastenders with a glass eye during world war 2, it was horrible, that sound, heard in every telling of the story, and it scares me to this day, condtioning my innocent young mind with that of Nazis and Britain.

Somehow ended up wanting to form my own Nazis, but it didn't get anywhere, trust me. I used a broken in half discarded toothbrush as a weapon, and a friend, tried to sell drugs from the plant that smelt a bit funny, people bought that! And whenever I got anywhere near trouble, would burst into tears. What? I was a confused little lamb. Hehehe >:D

Speaking of that whole category, Louise is off to Auschwitz in November... what AM I going to do sans my ouiseface... I do not know, but I would probably get nervous giggles, she gets to meet survivors and such like.

We went to the tattoo place today, for her to get a nose jewellery change, and I was thinking about how I would like to pierce and decorate myself, had a HUGE daydream about that, also made me remember Miami Ink, which I then lied about in Spanish, because I told the person next to me I forgot it even existed, but I forgot I remembered it.

I wonder what else I forgot to remember...?

Here's some more of my favourite 'Pets at funny angles' Pics I took today:

Nelson through the chair, kind of random, but you know...

Nelson with the lampshade as a fez:

Nelson being a bad-ass

Mungo looking hopelessly cute in his bed waiting for my brother to walk him :3


Nelson lying on the sign that says 'home' on our back door steps

Still, the first picture I uploaded all the way up there is my fav, and it is now my phone wallpaper.

I shall leave you guys with a non-heavy rant or complaint or semi-meaningful rhyming lyrics from 2am for once XD

Love Ray <3 xx

Guilt in terms of bon bons

Blimey this is today's 3rd Blog!!!!

It's awkward, as is Christmas, as is my Birthday. I don't see my dad, I don't feel he takes my childhood issues (and that's putting it more than philadelphia lightly) seriously in any way at all, and blames me for our lack of contact, yet every time it's Xmas or my Bday, he will get me something.

He's come back from France, and bought my brother and I sweets, de france, which I read in a pretty fluffing awesome french accent earlier just for Lexi's entertainment, but indeed sire, I felt guilty when he put it on my bed. I wasn't listening as I was texting Weronika about what blood donation is in spanish, but there it was, some sweets, very French looking, leaning their innocent presence against my malleable soul...

They're just sweets, with no connotations other than 'French weirdness' but the fact that those sweets were picked and put into that bag by that man and his assorted friends and relatives, it makes me guilty to eat them.

This is even worse at Xmas, when I actually long-term use things, and can't just eat the evidence away, and also money from Gran and such like, eurgh, it makes me cringe, it's like I'm using blood money, Products bought with money that retaliates against every cell in my body's morals and values, and I'm finding it very difficult.

I really wish he would only get things for Alex, as alex still sees him every so often, and at xmas and on his birthday, whereas I can't face it. Anything that reminds me of them, I mean, I can't watch the simpsons because it makes me feel sick with the reminders of childhood.

But I can't get them out of my mind, and I know when I eat those sweets, I'll feel so guilty, like I'm eating what I believe to be a strong moral belief of mine, and that is that I am against him, and his weak offers at contact, which just show me he doesn't care.

Buying sweets is nice, but I didn't buy anything for HIM or his wife these xmases or birthdays, and, well, he does for me. I don't know why, but I wish he wouldn't.

If he could stop, then I wouldn't have to think of him, or any of them, during my non-reflective-on-the-past aspect of life, which is the majority here, and well, I want to get away from the fact that he'll never be the father I wanted him to be, because he can't go back in time and save me from all the torment, seeing as he played a big role in it himself.

Thanks for reading...

Ray xx

Friendship

There was a moment today, where I nearly lost my best mate.

It's quite personal, so I will try and not go into it, but basically she messaged my mum on fb saying something I would rather she hadn't.

We'd talked about it that morning, and then she was being all nice, and then said what she'd done and signed off fb. I went completely horrified, I was shaking, I couldn't feel my hands properly, pretty immediately, which is your typical adrenaline rush, I messaged her the most pathetic and grammatically incorrect message, swearing, horrid message I've ever written, and then left her an agressive voicemail, then rang her, she picked up the phone and I started having a go, so she hung up, and then I rang again, and apologised, and basically we both ended up crying down the phone to each other.

Then we were trying to delete the fb message which can't be done, and I was panicking majorly. Mum comes in, sees I am crying, so I explain, absolutely dreading her reading the message. She reads it, replies to my friend and did the complete unexpected.

Turns out, my mum appreciates my friends concern for me, and thinks she's even greater than before, but for me, this is a very very meaningful experience.

This friend took information I had trusted her with, and sent it to my mum, who could have taken it badly. I feel I can't trust her again, but she WAS only looking out for me.

It reminds me of Asimov's 3 laws of Robotics to be honest.

She was trying to help, but in the short term, or perhaps in the long term, it could have ruined our friendship. And then it dawned on me, what she did, she knew it could have ruined things, yet she did it anyway, because she wanted me to be happy in the long term, and this has proved that she is more of a friend than I ever thought she was, and I will forever value her.

Whilst it was happening, my brain was screaming, I didn't know whether to tell her to fuck off or to catch two busses just to give her a hug. In my head, I hated her, but in my heart, she was still my best mate.

It was very, very difficult, and I hope it never happens again, but if your friends ever do anything like this, please, keep an open mind, and think about it.

It's only turmoil until it's sorted.

'Que Follon' - Juan Cuesta, el presidente de la comunidad.

Ray xx

My crazy dream

So, here is another installment of my crazy dreams.

Mum wanted to go an a nice day out with Mungo, but she wanted me and Alex to take him.

Now Alex was taking FOREVER and we really needed to get the train, right, and the HUGE black bag we were taking was waiting for us. I looked at the time and saw it was 2:02 (am) which didn't make any sense related to the nice day outside and such, and thought that due to the trains arriving at 5 to the hour, we had a good amount of time before we needed to leave. Pfft....

Anyway so I went back to the black bag, and looked at the LCD screen it had on the front. It told me to insert coins, it was a ticket machine and all. So I did, but it didn't really print anything, but the whole time I was holding some pretty new non marked, scathed or bent, pristine tickets, and didn't do a thing with them.

Anyway, I can't remember how we got there, but eventually we were in the forest, with mum, chris, chris's parents, Alex and Jamie, his best mate. How random. So we let Mungo off the lead, and these two Finish Spitz were trying to play with him and he was completely ignoring it. Mum said look at those two little dogs! I laughed, and said to her that in Poland, they were jumping up and holding onto Mungo's snout. Yeah, I didn't take Mungo to Poland...

Before you know it, we're IN Poland, and it was just really wierd, we were back in Borowy Mlyn, so yeah, very odd. We set up the table, and Jamie strangely turned into Arek, this kid I met in Poland IRL... who made me run around with him. It was such a strange dream, and the toi toi were allll decorated with lights and things, and there was a sandy beach type arcade, where the farm woman who wasn't the actual farm woman, was shouting about the latest deals, in Polish, so I didn't understand, no idea what she actually said, but my brain heard it as Polish.

And then I woke up, I'm sure the WTF look on my face was priceless XD

Conflicted

It's good for you, but it's not for me

like sitting in the sun without iced tea

because you can't really buy it here

without going into the shop with the guy with the beard

and i hope i don't sound racist, please don't comment

if you're easily offended, it's easily rejected

because nobody's perfect and nobody's listening

to the person with 'values' that's addicted to ritalin

and i might sound stupid and im not using grammar

but i know it exists, there's just no need for manners

because i'm writing on a blog and the internet will have me

i'm a student i'm getting this tax-free

and although that makes no sense i'm confident

that even if i lit incense

something about me would still fucking stink

and i've never seen hotdogs left in the sink

i don't know if thats an attitude or a culture

but i'm not waiting for an answer

i need more experience i'm not a good dancer

and i said this stuff if good for you

and maybe someday for me too

but it's to be expected, i don't need correcting

and i know you wouldn't, i'm not pretending

you're my best friend and if it works for you

i can't lie straight in front of you

and give encouragement and be there for it

without experience, my 'advice' - best ignore it

I've never been through it, don't give me the satisfaction

it's too fucking easy to have the reaction

i want to know how you're really feeling

but all i can go on is my stupid feelings

and it's really conflicted, it's really conflicted

and i can't stop typing coz i'm fucking addicted

and you won't know the tune, coz you don't know my head

and you'll never know my head

like i don't know yours

coz nobody's perfect

and you're life, yeah i don't deserve it

i'm not being angry, i'm trying to tell you

that whats working might only work for you

and that could change within five minutes

but i'm not going to bin it,

what you said, you make all the difference

you're hitting the jackpot

and why you'd relate to this fucking crackpot

i don't know, i don't know, but if you're going to, you know

i'm not being sarcastic, i was trying to tell you

just trying to tell you

that it's just so conflicted

The muffin song

SAILING THE SEAS in Louise's muffins

I know that sounds horrible out of context

but to be honest,

she just has boat shaped baked goods

SO when I sail down the nile in a muffin

I hope you don't think

I've been puffin'

on things I not should, you know I could

but all I wanted was a cake with a sail

in detail I don't want to go, but what the hell

It's keeping me afloat, because it's a fucking boat

and if i get lost or stranded, it's an edible bandit

and it tastes real good.

And if you would, please come and join me

it's kinda springy

but if you took my hand

we could make it

this muffin is awesome, and she made four others like it

so don't be judgin, just hop in your own one and ride it

accross the sea, they'll come with me

we'll discover a land of the coast of Turkey

and might just make it.

THIS IS THE STORY OF A RELIGION

IT STARTED IN THE KITCHEN

AND IT ENDED UP IN TURKEY

AND NOW THE GOD THAT I PRAY TOO

EATS MORE CAKE THAN HE SHOULD DO

AND IT'S GOING WELL

so if you still wanna come

sail over here, my chum

we'll be pals forever

grazing on this muffiny pleasure

our new muffin delta!

off the coast o'Turkey!

Love Ray

xx

My friends

I have joked about it in the past, but I am far too picky with my friends.

My bessie mates are:

Lewis: - an 8 foot, long haired, homosexual, maniac who got me in sooo much trouble at school, and I for him

Louise: - An Aspie goth that lets me make up stories about ska-p and horlicks and goats, and gets me doing responsible things... Hmm...

Weronika: - She's a hungry Polish silly billy with hardly any memory, who managed to live with me for 3 weeks in Poland

Maddy: She's into everything, writing and history and crocheting and CSI new york or something, but she pats me on the head and moves on, she's awesome

Aaron: Sick sense of humour but oh well... our conversations usually consist of jokes about heroes/sugar rush/waterloo road etc....

Actually, I have loads of friends, but Louise made me think today, because one of her friends baffles/annoys me a tad, and I wasn't thrilled to learn she might be in my history class this year XD. Anyway, Louise asked me if I liked ANY of her friends, and then I felt like a selfish salt snorter and went all defence mode.

Not like in basketball, no... I was like you know, like OMG Louise, you didn't just say that!

Actually, I was like, No, I do like your friends, bla bla bla, but then I was sad.. because if thats how Louise views me, is that how everyone views me. It takes a while, you have to get past the vacuum of trust before you can be my friend. Its huge and gloopy.

My trust gloops.

I don't know where I'm going with this... just, it takes time for me, and if you keep fuffing up your attempts to be my friend by offending me or patronising me or whatever, then I am not going to let you onto the gloop, am I!?

Sorry, people, I am quite nice, and I want to be peoples friend, but, what can I say, it's at a slight issue.

Okay, bye haha

Rachel xx

Casualty through my eyes, for Lewis

A blow by blow account of Casualty, season 26, episode 4, Memory Games.

This is written for a specific friend, Lewis Godfray, on the 3/09/2011. Please do not be offended by any of the subject written in here, read a self help book and grow a pair, we are casualty nerds. The style may change as this goes on, I am very 'flitty' and can't stick with one theme for too long.

Good luck reading this if you aren't Lewis, and....GO!!! *Clicks to Play*

(Injokes will be in italics)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opening titles play.

Opening scene, Dylan Keogh in an Ambulance jeep (nice pastel blue colour) on a sea-side setting, a more closed sea side, not busy, lots-a-rocks(-a). Nice day too. Apparently he was called out to a 'drowning man'... a man covered in mud, being dealt with by paramedics, and he is pissed off he was called out and nothing came of it, so he walks back to his jeep thing. Turns out not much of a sea-side, but a river type thing? The man jumped off the HUGE bridge behind him, I think. (peter jones probably dropped him)

We're 1:03 minutes in, by the way. Okay.

Now here's some people who are dressed as superheroes, doing a charity fundraiser, they're older people, not many, who are fundraising for the people who look after 'Warley Point' and there's a guy giving a speech to a journalist or two.

Now one woman's gone of the side, and a man has asked her if she's sure she's up for this, and she says she's fine...HONESTLY. She told him to stop fussing, he said: "You definitely haven't seen HIM" and she said not for days, and now they're off walking and singing and collecting money, and she told the man to go and get some sleep. How random!

Oh dear, is that man waving in the distance 'HIM'??

Cut to the same group in the forest some time later, still costumed and all, of course. She's trying to hurry them along, but they're singing it's a long way to Tipperary, as you do...THAT CREEPY DISTANCE MAN IS WITH THEM EEKKK

Cut's to the ED, typical chatter and phone ring... ahh the familiarity, and some homeless bearded man swigging on some alcoholic beverage of some kind,I think whiskey. AHAHAAAA

He's lecturing Charlie neck-spasm Fairehead, whilst standing on a chair, and Charlie is telling him it's not a hostel, or a pub, and BLEURGH said the subtitles, as he is sick allll over Charlie, followed by Jay hollering in the background >.<

decided im going to watch it and then do this... NAH..

Back to the forest, it's night time now, and STAN, leader of the group was singing, when his back crunched, not much of a superhero if you ask me, but you know, and he's asking woman to get him on his feet. He's in too much pain, so she calls an ambulance, she's not very confident, I tell ya.

Surprise surprise, there's no signal! She's got signal now, and she's panicky down the phone, when suddenly, creepy man appears out of the trees... oh dear..

Then to Zoe asleep in the on-call room, being awoken by Ruth with a knock on the door...because the ambulance has just gone out for a serious spinal injury, I presume (arrow word, to think to be true) the forest.

Now Dylan's checked his phone that beeped in his jeep thing, oh no, it's his pager! And said "oh you have GOT to be kidding me!" He turned his siren back on.

Cut to the forest, there's Zoe, the new paramedics and a spinal board all going on. Patient Stan can move his feet, his pulse is 80, his BP over 90. According to new paramedic man. Zoe has interesting glasses!

And Dylan's found Zoe and called her jumpsuit 'very Spandau Ballet' and she asked him what he's doing here, and apparently he's a BASICS volunteer, whatever that is. She thought it was funny, so it must be something silly and demeaning.

Something about having to do it, because nobody else will, and people getting into scrapes at stupid hours. He just asked her about her glasses. She didn't have time to put her lenses in, but Dylan was about to compliment them, apparently. Wierd. Oh, he wasn't... lol!

They've told Dylan who complained he could be at home in bed, that the organiser was pushing the group to fast, and then called her loopy and hyped up, so he's gone after her. And creepy distance man keeps appearing. She's running through the forest and slipped ¬¬ tusk. Got up and ran again, slipped stop, looked, saw Creepy Distance Man, or CDM, and is hyperventilating now.

So she ran and jump and just did the most AWESOME fall/roll through the muddy forest in the dark I have seen hahaaaa. We see CDM, or at least we think it is, through her eyes, blurred edges. He comes closer!! Oh and it's Dylan.

She's crawling away whimpering, and he's saying it's okay I'm a doctor bla bla bla. Oh she's hurt her leg very badly apparently. She fell 20 feet! woah. Dylan's code name is Tango 534 by the way.

Back to the ED, and new male nurse is asking Jay if they need to work out what's wrong with the drunk guy, a.... duh... Trying to waste resources I imagine. He's taking care of the drunk guy, though. Ivan, the drunk guy.

And in pops Zoe with Stan and the rest of the medical staff complimenting his singing voice. Noel's yawning, and made a comment about Zoe's glasses. Lol. And so has... whoever Davina Shackleton is in this thing.

Now Jay has given new male nurse the task of cleaning Ivan's leg... ew. OH GOD MAGGOTS. And the nurse was just sick. Oh he's called Lloyd, the nurse. Tess is annoyed.

Scarlett just shouted out for Jay, some dude with a cut on his face. And possibly other injuries. Getting him through to resus! wow, bigee! And Dixie just wheeled in a woman shouting about what's happening to her, she's called Rachel, and is on a trolley with the spinal stuff and all, I think.

OH wow cut face man has a wound to his chest and can't breathe. He has a collapsed lung apparently. And a shattered arm.

Rachel has a broken ankle, no sign of head trauma. This is the one being followed by CDM...she needs emergency leg surgery. Charlie's correcting Scarlett on thanking the doctor for medical info and advice, because she's just a shit nurse, really.

Okay chest, face, everything man is called Luke Mason, and he needs to call the police. He was getting mugged by the university, but he got stabbed. And he got himself to hospital, wow. A large NAIL in his chest. Attacked by a nail gun! Needs surgery, near his heart.

Rachel is talking with Scarlett about her stalker, he's been in her house, her bedroom apparently. The police aren't interested.

Now Lennie's been given an old woman (my pottery, the market gallery, crafty destinations, old lady) suffering severe abdo pain, by her night nursing home staff, so they sent her in. She made a living will, so that makes everything complicated ¬¬

Luke's x-ray showed the nail has gone a little way into the heart OH GOD wow... but not enough to cause a problem according to Ruth. Oh he had his appendix out recently...His wife Sandy is expecting twins, and he lives in cornwall... (And the twins will be Maria and Guiseppe)

Tess has called Jay away, to talk about Lloyd, whilst Lloyd takes Jay's place. Oh dear.

Lennie and Davina have old lady Shirley who doesn't want to be treated, but Lennie is annoyed because he needs to treat her. He's agreed to give her some pain meds. They're both from Scotland. Aaaw I like her, she's got no-one.

Stan's got some bruising. Now Zoe's trying to get money from Dylan...a pound, and he wants the change from the vending machine XD.

CDM just stroked Rachel's face and left before Dylan could tend to her screaming. She's taking chlopromazine to handle the fear.

Out of CDU, into the ED.

Jeff wants to know about the nail gun kid, so Jay relays the story.

Charlie tells Lennie that Shirley refused the bed, so she's going to die in cubicles, and Charlie is going to fill in more of Scarlett's competency form. She has to do some patients with interesting sounding technical names for probably disgusting things.

A man is discussing the incident with Luke, probably annoyed that he didn't get a good look at them. The man is a police officer... and his accent just changed when he lowered his voice.

Rachel's husband Matt has come through and security are confused now. Matt's just said the CDM only exists in her head.

Lloyds doing something to Luke, injecting him, and Jay says he is doing it incorrectly. Now Big Mac has come in to wish Luke good luck for his op. The whole staff are talking about how much a hero he is.

Mr Policeman is saying there is no witnesses, something's missing here about Nailgun Luke. I think he did it to himself or something... So, anyway, Ruth thinks he might have confused things in his shock, and now the previous hospital to treat him for his appendix has phoned.

She came off the phone seeming bemused, and she told Big Mac to do something instead of asking her if she's bemused, and just googled Luke Mason, Nail Gun Attack, to find... dun dun dun, the real deal on a news article.

Now Matt is relaying his wife's symptoms to Dylan, which sounds to me like PTSD, Night terrors and thinking where she is now is somewhere else... but Dylan's asking about brain scans. So she ended up seeing a psychiatrist. Apparently she'd hear children, and a cat and such things. Psych diagnosed anxiety and depression.

Matt said they don't have Children or cats, he's allergic, and Dylan asked whether he was allergic to children or cats, and there was an awkward silence.

She's hallucinating him right now! Oh dear. So now she's physically fighting him off, and Zoe has seen her, lol, she looks weird fighting him off when he's not really there. She fell off the bed trying to fight him, so now Dylan and Zoe are trying to help her.

Dylan wants the 'gormless' nurse to come and assist. He means Scarlett, naturally.

Now Luke is trying to brag everything. And Ruth went to send the nurse to find the policeman. Turns out he is replicating this Luke guy really, and is begging Ruth not to tell the police.

Dylan thinks Rachel has Lewy Body Dementia, whatever that is, Ruth's going to speak to the inspector.

Shirley (Lennie's old woman) is 'fading' according to Charlie. OH Davina's name in this is Linda. I know this because Noel just called her name out... wonder what he wants.

She went over and retrieved a bag, from Shirley's care home. Lennie's saddened by this case.

Dylan explains the syndrome he believes Rachel has, to her husband, Matt. Well it makes sense to everyone.

The nail gun man has done this before, compensation scam or something. Woah. Then it's Dylan and Zoe again. with the Dementia. Dylan's told her she can control her own hallucinations.

HOLY HELL. Lloyd went in to tell Luke he took back what he said, so Luke jumped on him and got a pair of scissors and is holding them against his neck. Jay's trying to talk him out of it, but Lloyd is still saying what he did was wrong. Silly Lloyd, I think he has a deathwish.

Now Luke can't breathe. So they've rushed him to theatre.

Rachel is making conversation with her hallucinated CDM, asking him what he wants.

Now we're in theatre with Luke... Eww, an ooze by the nail!

Rachel is trying to control him, lol he did it, he touched his nose when she asked him to!

Shirley's nearly gone. Lloyds fallen out with Jay. And Big Mac haves every single Eurovision winner and runner up, Dana International is his fav!!!

Stan is singing Shirley's dying song...

Matt is talking to Zoey about boring shit. Lennie's lighting candles, and introducing Stan. Oh Danny Boy.... Oh she died.... Wow.

And Jay just got one more chance for mentoring them.

Zoey and Dylan are going to be friends! Naww. AND NOW HE'S ADMITTING HIS ALCOHOLICNESS. That's what I thought. From day one. Or sort of.

That nail is fucking huge! Sorry for the language. Luke turns out, the first one was real, attack, and then he wanted more people saying he was a hero, he didn't care about the money... :S

Ruth told Luke he needs Psychiatric help, and he thanked her.

That was a boring night shift... bahaha... and Omar is going for a run, Big Mac, Lennie and Jay are going to get a breakfast...

LE FIN

____________________________________________________________________

Wow....

Love Rachel

Oh Facebook...

HELLO POPPETS... how delightful I haven't blogged since July-ish.

Mon Bodyguard: She 'as an excuse she waz en Poland

(and how do you type with a French accent again!?)

Anyway, I for one, am ashamed, and annoyed, yet again, by facebook's preposterous advertisement NONSENSE, which only serves to confuse, spam, and dissapoint. Seriously, get some actual adverts.

Here is what I mean:

Firstly, writing Stories, blogs and poems, are things easily found on here. But to describe such writings by folk, of perhaps 13 - 16 year olds as ADHD, smacks me right on the nose (ow) with an issue which has forever bugged me. Oh look, WRITING AND BEHAVING LIKE SO GIVES YOU 21 COOL POINTS.

Well if you believe that, you must be stupid, 21 is a very inhabitable number!

Well, this is actually quite clever, because it targets people who feel different who think having a diagnosis is cool. Well done Facebook, yet again managing to produce more of the generation who think they're inability to pay attention to Mr Boring explain the hypoteboring side on a triboring is NOT because of their smartphones containing their juicy whizzing colourful social media, it is because they're obviously ADHD Bi-polar maniacs who shouldn't be allowed in the classroom because their brains can't handle the tragic teenage lives they lead.

I have been there, with the real ADHD, Bi-polar, you name it, wonderful members of society, and I mean wonderful, because I am rather special myself, especially at school, I'm not going to go there don't ask. But people who think it is cool, to have a mental illness, or otherwise neurological difference (and I'm not trying to upset the neuro-diversity applecart here), people want that, I don't know why on earth they would, but being the scene kid who wears flip-flops to a wedding obviously isn't different enough, and adverts like these ENCOURAGE such thoughts.

People may have thought I was a bit like this, but really, I was driven nuts by my own brain; I tried to self-diagnose, but managed to pigeon hole myself out of a lot of friendship groups or the ability to stay in a classroom environment because well, I did say I wouldn't go there, but, there is room on this blog to find out what I mean, if you can be bothered to search, and I AM planning to type up my life as a schoolian one day soon, maybe it will find itself on here XD

Seriously though, this annoys me, people strive so much to be "cool" and "different" that they want to be diagnosed as mentally ill, or having a neurological deficit. Tut tut, Buy a cardigan, some chinos and some vans, like the rest of the people trying to be cool. If you want to be different, just be your bloody self!

Sorry for that, random annoyance, just something I haven't seen in a while... Grr.

Tarahhhh

Rachel :) xx